I don’t like having my picture taken. People usually think it’s because I’m a photographer. While that IS part of it, the bigger part is that I’m incredibly self conscious. Maybe that’s why I a lot of self conscious brides hire me, because I know the trick to getting great pictures of self conscious people.
More on that later…
Having your picture taken when you don’t have a great self image can be truly painful. When you look in the mirror and you’re not always happy about what you see. You’re constantly judging yourself, and those nasty inner voices pick out everything you don’t like about yourself – too short, too tall, too thin, too heavy, big ears, big teeth, crazy hair…
I hear those voices too and those voices can get awfully loud!
Well, I have some advice for you, self conscious bride…or groom…or whatever you identify yourself as…this advice is universally applicable. To be honest, I chose “Survival Guide for the Self Conscious Bride” as the title for this post because it rhymed.
It’s not like anybody WANTS to feel awkward in their photos. Regardless, here’s the deal…
Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of couples where one or both partners told me they are not photogenic, hate having their picture taken, or don’t like how they look in photos.
I channel my own self-conscious nature into how I work with my couples to make them feel more comfortable and secure. Below you will find some tips I often use that can truly make you feel more at ease…
Stop Trying to Fit Some Image of Perfection
As soon as you announce that you’re engaged, you are bombarded with wedding blogs and magazines and TV shows filled with images of ‘perfect’ people, telling you how to have the ‘perfect’ wedding day.
It can be hard to accept, but that perfection is simply not attainable. The images we’re presented with in print, online, and on TV are an exercise in fakery. They’re created using huge teams of people, retouching, and sometimes camera tricks that would simply be impossible during any REAL wedding.
But, those among us who are self conscious are tempted to put ourselves down because we don’t fit that image of ‘perfection’.
We need to realize that we don’t need to fit some arbitrary mold. You are your own person. Make your wedding day as wonderful as possible for YOU! Don’t try to make it what some writer or producer or editor says is the PERFECT wedding.
Your Wedding Day is About Your Love for One Another
All that negative self talk? Take a step back from that and hear what your partner has to say about you. Look at yourself through their eyes. Your partner LOVES you! They love that little scar on your chin, your ‘weird’ smile, your freckles. They want to spend the rest of their life with you. THAT is what your wedding day is all about.
Think about your love for each other, and that is what your photos will reflect. I always get my couples to engage with one another so the photos are an extension of their relationship, as opposed to some cold, uncomfortable pose.
Practice Makes You More Comfortable
As painful as it feels to have pictures taken when you’re self conscious, taking more photos will drastically increase your comfort level when your wedding day arrives.
Even if you think, “I don’t want an engagement photo session!” because you don’t like pictures of yourself, take that opportunity to work with your wedding photographer!
Engagement sessions really help me connect with a couple and find out how they feel with a camera pointed at them. I see how much guidance they need from me, and how they interact with each other. It also gives them a chance to see how I work.
They see I’m not going to be up in their face and making them hold awkward poses or trying to make them look like models.
Beyond the engagement session, take pictures of yourselves more often. You don’t need to post them to social media. Just go through the process of taking pictures occasionally, and you’ll start feeling more comfortable when the big day arrives.
Choose a Photographer Who Understands Your Pain
If you don’t like having your picture taken, should you hire a wedding photographer who has no clue what that feels like? A photographer who plasters their social media with pictures of themself? Somebody who obviously has never felt the pain of being judged harshly for their appearance?
NO! You want someone who is empathetic. Someone who sees the look on your face during portraits and knows how painful it is for you. You want a wedding photographer who streamlines the process to make it as quick and painless as possible.
I always strive to make the couples I work with feel not only at ease, but to also understand how they’re feeling. Knowing the person on the other side of the camera empathizes with you goes a long way towards feeling comfortable.
The Greatest Trick…
Remember when I said I know exactly how to get a good natural picture of me?
Well, the trick is to get me to stop thinking about the camera. Maybe that means quoting a line from a movie…or singing a song…or just focusing on the people I love…and POOF!…the camera doesn’t exist anymore.
I will work to find out what tricks work best for you. That way YOU, self conscious bride, can focus on what really matters and stop thinking about the camera altogether.
I understand, and I’m here for you.
Click here to get in touch with me today and I’m going to make you feel better about having your picture taken!
